10.08.2009

The small things...

I sat back for a minute yesterday just thinking for a bit.....about the small things. I met a friend for coffee in the morning....then rushed home to catch Oprah so that i could watch Nie Nie who was on her show for the day.

I didn't read Nie Nie's blog till i heard about her accident....and have been hooked ever since.

I read almost all of her back posts and still think of the awe i had of her and her gorgeous family.

why?

She has a passion for her family and her kids....her husband...her life. She is refreshing.
She is amazing.

And then while Nie Nie was on Oprah....there was another mom who was being interviewed...

and i thought...

that is so me.

I am the mom who doesn't like to play games...

do play dough.....

sing cumbaya......

etc....etc.

I don't want to be that mom.....

but i am.





So when i sat down to think.....{after walking around Anthro for a bit...}

i decided..i want to enjoy the little things.....

but i also want to stand up and say....

yes...

it's o.k. that i'm not the homeroom mom...

and i might not be my daughters brownie leader....

or the team mom on my son's football league...

and it's

o.k.

it really is...

because i don't want to....

and it won't make me a better person or

a better mother.

I do want to be better though.....

at some things....like a better listener when it comes

to the kids talking....

sitting with them when they eat....

snuggling a bit more.

Those are the little things that i came to realize

are important.

The small things.




When you come here to read about my life and my thoughts....what you see is what you get. I will never pretend to be supermom....

because i am not.

I am not perfect....

nor do i strive to be.....

my children are happy......they love to laugh.....as do i.

The small things.

It's what brings out the best and the worst in all of us.

The small things.

I dream of going to France.....

and i can't afford it....

but i will make it happen....

I am a dreamer....

and so are my children.

{hubby is working on being a dreamer...but it's hard to be a dreamer when you are a realist}

and sometimes i need a swift kick in the behind...because i dream to much and need to be ..

a little more realistic.

xo

oh...the super small thing was the ONLY think i purchased at good ole Anthro...i'm lovin the itty

bitty sugar spoon.

and....the match is there ONLY to symbolize how SMALL the small things are.





66 comments:

Laura said...

I get how you feel
I want to be as passionate about being a wife and mother as Nie is
I dont want to be the mom who complains on her blog
but I don't want to pretend either

I believe Nie is the real deal
no lies
all goodness
a Saint, in my eyes
Her goodness and love and faith and compassion is not an accident
I believe she is here on earth to inspire
and that is why people ARE "hooked"
because it is real

inspiring is NOT supposed to make you feel badly about who you are
inspiring is not about changing who we are

from what I know of you, you ARE passionate
you are a good mom
a good wife
and a good Anthro shopper

We can't change who we are
that would not be authentic
but we can continue to learn and grow and strive to be better

like you said...the small things...that's what counts

and I love the itty bitty spoon....
thank God for the small things (they are all I can afford!

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laura said...

And number three too!!!!

Laura said...

see??? I DO read and I DO comment!! Look at me go!!!!! Number 4!!!!

Laura said...

I can't stop....

Laura said...

uh oh...I got so lost in my comments that I am burning a red velvet cake....

Laura said...

i have lost my mind....

Chablis said...

Love. This. Post.

I feel the same way.
I'm barely scraping by with the homeschool thing. And half the time I'm saying, "hurry and finish those worksheets while I do my hair"...etc.

But it's true. It's the little things that make a big difference. I'll work on being a better listener, and sitting with my kids when they eat too. :)

Julie said...

I caught the part with the mom...I was just talking to my hubby about taking joy in the little things.. Great post.

xo

Emily said...

Isn't Stephanie amazing?! I completely know how you feel because I too felt the same way when I watched it today. Let me tell you though that I love the way you are so real and I can tell from the way you talk about your family and life that you are a good mom. And as long as we keep trying to be better, that's all we can do.

Loved this post thanks!

Anonymous said...

Thank you...Stephanie was even more gorgeous today than before her accident..She absolutely radiates beauty inside and out as well....Just pure and utter love was what I saw today......A beautiful filled with love mother and wife.........hugs to all,Carlyn

Cathi said...

Beautiful post...and those small things you mention, are truly the big things, the most important things. You sound like a wonderful mom!

vicki archer said...

The small things are what count always. Be the mother you are, that is the mother your children want...that is the mother they remember, think about and love. xv

Jerri said...

Kasey I will "steal" some words from a song, "there could never be a more beautiful you"...keep on being real...and oh the "small stuff"-its true don't sweat it!...like Nate's hair growing up..it was white, green, had corn rows(yep, sure did), and was shaved bald, but it was only hair and well, it grows!...and the other side of the small stuff...just what you said, we all would do well to take a breath and enjoy because life is short and we never want to have regrets...the other reason why I say...NEVER stop being a dreamer!!(this coming from a "realist")! Sorry to didn't mean to write a sermon...love ya girlie! :)

Torie Jayne said...

The small things do count, be who you are, that's what counts, Have a sweet day!

Cori said...

OH...I don't like to play game either...but I do PRETEND sometimes because it means so much to them. Occassionally I end up enjoying it. I wish they liked to play scrabble...now that's a game I can get into! ha! We do the best we can...and I KNOW you make your kids laugh (becuase you make up laugh) and that is just one of your special gifts for them. Newver underestimate the little things you pass to your children (m 20 year old know tells me so)...

Zita - Mlle Magpie said...

My kids go to private school. Kasey, you wouldn't believe some of these moms there. There are moms that are perfectly dressed and groomed, who know exactly what homework is due what day, know everything that is going on at school, participate/volunteer for everything, carpool the kids for soccer games after school, have nutritious snacks ready for the whole soccer team and... well, you get the picture. I'm the disshevelled mom rushing to pick up my kids after school who can never go on a class trip because she's on call for work (another huge disappointment for the kids) and expects her kids to be responsible for their own homework. Last year my son asked my husband and I why we never come out to any of his soccer games, because the other parents all come to EVERY single game. I couldn't believe it, but it's actually true, even working parents! In the end I managed to make it to one regular season game and my husband made it to 15 minutes of one before he had to rush back to his office because the fire alarm went off in his company's office building (God forbid something happened to his software on the computers - that's his whole business!). Unlike you, Kasey, I'm working on the laughing more part :) p.s. keep dreaming about Paris, I did, and it happened - I lived there for three years in the early 90's!

Beth@The Stories of A to Z said...

Everybody is a mess. People are insecure with dark secrets hidden behind lip-glossed smiles and brownie leader accolades. We all wound our children in one way or another. We are flawed. We are human. Your honesty about your journey as Mom is refreshing. We all have to carve out our definition of the "good enough mother" (no such thing as the "good mother") and pray for grace for the rest. You are doing that beautifully Kasey. You may be a dreamer, but each post you model transparency and realism. And I for one, love it.

Leah C said...

None of us is a supermom...even those who like to think so:) I think you have so many followers, Kasey, because of who you are: a real mom, a mom who tries to be better, a mom who gets that it's "the little things that mean alot"! And most of us can really relate to that:)

Martha said...

Love your post!...I am trying to enjoy the small things a bit more too...hubby is good at reminding me about that...to sit down and snuggle more...I'm not a supermom by any means...sometimes I get the urge to do projects...but like you said my kiddos are happy...and we have some fun...I could never homeschool though...nope...really couldn't do it...I think moms that do are great...but just not in my calling...and I agree with others... YOU are great because you are real...but I love how you dream too...best of both worlds:) Have a great day Kasey!

Wendy @ The Shabby Nest said...

You know Kasey, you're doing great. I watched you with your kids for that little while we visited, and I thought to myself, "for all that Kasey says that she is a flawed Mom, she has a quiet authority and a love that radiates beyond it." I was very impressed with you.

We are all flawed. We try. We love our kids.

Stephanie IS an inspiration. She was an inspiration before her accident. She is even more of an inspiration now. I love her zest for life even facing difficulties. And what I really loved about yesterday's show was how Oprah pointed out the love between Christian and Stephanie...how he just adores her. I think we get so caught up in how we look...it really is the soul that counts. She was a beautiful person before her accident...and even MORE beautiful person now.

Hang in there, my dear. Dreaming is half the battle!

The Flying Bee said...

I tried to be that mom...the mom who volunteered for everything and showed up for everything and on and on, but it wasn't me. All it did was cause more stress in my life and made me a worse mom. My kids don't want that anyway. They want me to listen and be silly with them...and that's me. That is what I am good at. I hate pretending, I don't want to pretend and we all love you because you don't pretend. It is the small things that count.

xo,
Adrienne

Ali said...

It is the "small things" that end up making the most difference anyway. We can't all be the super-mom and trying to be is so exhausting! We just have to show our kids love in all the little things and they will be just fine!

Here's to dreamers. May we never change.

Michelle@Fromhousetohome said...

Stephanie was amazing. I loved being able to hear her voice, now when I read her posts I know what she sounds like. I on the other hand, was not so amazing. Before the other mom came on, my daughter came into the room asking me something and I "shushed" her so I could hear. Here is this show about appreciating life and kids and I'm telling my kid to hush up. I'm sure that they know I love them though. And I do play playdoh sometimes! I felt bad after the show so I made them grilled cheese for dinner. That makes it better right?
~Michelle

littlebyrd said...

I think this is my favorite post you've written because I relate so much to it. Playing...ugggh. I am terrible at it. And I can't afford France either. It felt good to hear someone say it was ok not to love playing!! lol!

lherlihy said...

I can relate! Is it so bad that I don't want to play Barbies or trucks? Instead I cook with the kids or sew or pitch dozens of baseballs. As long as I am doing something with them, that assuages my guilt. And what's a good mother without guilt?? :)

Sa-Sea Boutique said...

I WATCHED IT YESTERDAY TOO AND FELT AWFUL ABOUT MY MOTHERING SKILLS TOO. I DO SOO MUCH WITH AND FOR MY KIDS......BUT I DON'T THINK I AM REALLY "THERE" IN THE MOMENT. I AM ALWAYS THINKING OF THE MILLION OTHER THINGS I NEED TO DO/BE.
TODAY I AM GOING TO REALLY ENJOY MY KIDS.....AND DO MY BEST TO GET THEM SOOO TIRED THAT THEY TAKE EXTRA LONG NAPS SO THAT I CAN PLAN ON THE COMPUTER AND SEW AND DO WHAT I WANT FOR A BIT WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A "NOT IN THE MOMENT" MOM.

LOVED IT YESTERDAY! I FELT LIKE MY FRIEND WAS ON TV. I ACTUALLY TOLD MY KIDS THAT SHE WAS MY FRIEND AND THEY SHOULD PLAY THE KEYBOARD IN THEIR ROOMS SO I CAN HEAR. :)

Tiffany said...

Thank you, Kasey for your honesty! No woman is SuperMom even if she pretends to be. I love that you don't pretend to be. I don't either. I just do the best I can and that's all I've got. Definitely the small things that matter. Love it.

Lissa said...

i watched it also... she made me cry! What a neat, neat lady!!

xo

Farmgirl Paints said...

I missed it. Wanted to watch it, but forgot.

I struggle with those same thoughts Kasey. I don't play with my kids like I should and with that comes guilt sometimes. But I do express my love for them in other ways and that's what matters. We can't fit into a box that wasn't made for us. We each have our gifts and abilities, and mine are not the same as NieNie's or anyone else's for that matter. Just be yourself.

Love your little anthro treasure. Those are the things I buy when I go in there. I can't afford their clothes, but I dream of dressing that way!

Brenna LaPray said...

I love when we have inspiration to change. It was a great show! You need to give yourself some credit though. You are a great mom...although everyone could become better. I too am going to work on the small things first.

erin said...

i love your blog for its sincerity and frankness...things i really admire!! you are a great mom! just wanted to point out that your hubby being a "realist" balances your dreaminess and should be embraced! be thankful he is that way, it has taken me almost 30 years to realise my hubby being black/white balances my greyness. you WILL make it to france.........

the wild raspberry said...

great post kasey...no one ever regrets spending too much time cuddling and playing and reading with their kids when they are young~~it's spending no time with them that becomes the regret.
chas

Morning T said...

You're awesome Kasey and you can bet that each and every one of us feels like we could do more and be more to our children. To your point, you are happy, your kids are happy, and that's all that matters.

Rachel said...

I think Nie Nie inspires all of us...As I sat watching Oprah with tears in my eyes, I too was reminded that I need to appreciate the small things and especially those little things with my children. None of us are perfect, but we are all doing the best we can and sometimes we all need a little encouragement and a reminder about just how precious life is...xoxo

Jemm said...

This is all very true. I AM the homeroom mom....but I secretly wish I wasn't. It's draining and then there isn't enough energy for the small things. Now excuse me while I reach for a tissue.

Jackie said...

Great post! I agree with Vicki - we are the moms our kids need us to be. I hope I am, anyway. I think the thing is this - if your kids know you love them and feel that love - it's all good - it's not always what you do for them, it's who you are for them that matters.

PamperingBeki said...

This is really good Kasey!

I wasn't familiar with Stephanie's blog until the accident. Now I can definitely see that she's inspiring.

As we all know, there isn't one perfect way of parenting.

I love what Laura said, "inspiring is NOT supposed to make you feel badly about who you are". Stephanie has the perfect balance of inspiring others and not making them feel bad. But there ARE many blogs that just aren't even real.

You just have to find that perfect balance. And from the outside looking in, I'd say you've achieved it.

A.Love said...

I'm sure you don't need encouragement from me because you're confident in who you are, but I have to say that ever since I found you :) I've known I don't have to be ashamed that I am not super mom.
I don't go to the park and think that his poop is the cutest thing i could ever wipe. I am SO challenged by him. I adore him and love him greatly but who I am is not about being super mom.
You're wonderful and I love that I can come here and feel so not alone!

Tracy is ... Loving Pretty Things said...

Yes. I was moved when I saw that other mom talking with Nie Nie in their home. I love being a mom. I have had so much guilt because I don't *love* to play with my daughter. I love to do things with her: cook, ride bikes, go to the park ... but ask me to go up on the slide, no thinks. Play Barbies? nope. The guilt I feel is because she is such a social butterfly who LOVES to be with people. If only she had a sibling to play with....and that's where I tailspin. I so want to give that to her. It is what my husband and I always dreamed of.

So, I have to be reminded not to tailspin - and enjoy what God's blessed me with. Nie Nie is an amazing reminder that family is worth fighting for - and enjoy each other because you have no idea what tomorrow has in store.

Love you & ALL your support. You make me well-up with happiness and warmpth.

xoxo

Simply Me Art said...

I don't think Nie would want any of us to feel like we are not Great Do Everything Moms. In my opinion we are all who we are, we have different wants,desire, dreams, Thank God we all Parent differently, it makes for a world of very different people. I was that do everything/be everything mom for years with my kids, then they got older and the priorities change. I changed too, I still love my kids more than life and do most everything with my kids in mind,but step back a little more. Nie is a Inspiration for who she is and what she has been through, but I think she would want us to take away from her, to be the Best you can be and be True to who you are. We moms need to always stick together/band together no matter how we Parent, not judge just embrace our difference as women and moms.My 2 cents. Happy Thursday, xoxoxoxo, Jamie

Marci said...

i am a mom like you. i love my kids passionately but it's in my own way. i have a girl who is turning 18 {gasp} soon and she and i are very close and we have fun together. i think it doesn't matter what kind of mother you are as long as you are the best mother that you can be. so i love to hear other people say what you just said because sometimes it gets so overwhelming with all the seemingly perfect mothers out there. i know they aren't really but sometimes doesn't it just seem like they are?! it's why i like to read what you write. you make me feel better about just being me.;D

Simone said...

This is such a great post Kasey....I think you have touched on something that most mothers feel at some time or another....I know I do. Well done for being so honest, I know I appreciated it.

Now I am off to find NieNie....I am feeling as though I am the only girl in the world who has never seen her ;)

Simone xo

Simone said...

This is such a great post Kasey....I think you have touched on something that most mothers feel at some time or another....I know I do. Well done for being so honest, I know I appreciated it.

Now I am off to find NieNie....I am feeling as though I am the only girl in the world who has never seen her ;)

Simone xo

paperhill said...

i watched her too, she is the real deal. i didn't read her until after her accident either and she does inspire me to be a better me. i find at times i'm busy with the details of tomorrow instead of enjoying today....the present. great post!

Julie Harward said...

It seems I always agree with you :D
But I do..it is the small things, as I raised my 8 children, there was not a lot of time to focus else where, and I'm glad about that. It made me focus on the very most important things..my children. We spent tons of one on one time, it has been my greatest blessing..for them and for me.
Your sugar bowl is simple darling...
your children are the most beautiful gifts from God that you will ever be given. I'm happy for you that you know that! Love ya~
Come say hi any time :D

Reese & Marie said...

I felt feelings very similar to yours after watching her last night. So many things irritate me about my daily tasks and I have to stop and find the beauty and joy in these fleeting moments with my children. I don't want to have any regrets later. I will never be Supermom either, but I think I still have room to improve. And that's what I plan to do.

Love that sat and thunk? thinked? thought? AFTER walking around in Anthro. Completely refreshing and hilarious. Glad you're keeping it real.

xo
Kari

Kristin said...

Nie Nie is amazing yes.

...you are too...amazing that is!

...this is the blog I come to when my heart needs a smile

...you teach people through your humor how to look at life with bright eyes and how to find fun or a different smile perspective on well...anything!

...you are a perfect mom because you are true.
...you are a perfect mom because you admit that playing games might not be fun. I get that!
...you are a true friend to many.
...you are an inspiration and well that is your gift, so leave that homeroom mom stuff up to someone who's gift it is as you need to practice for your cheerleading tryouts at the old folks home around the corner! (Yes, yes, your comment was hilarious on Paige's blog yesterday!)
...because you are imperfect like all of us...you are awesome, fun and so very much sunshine to the world.

I am grateful for you and thank you for you more than you know!

jody said...

great post.
i, too, tuned into oprah.
i came upon nie nie's blog last year, right before the accident...i was morning sick and spending a lot of time on the couch surfing and ignoring my kids. it was bad, but luckily only lasted a couple months.

i, too, think stephanie's the real deal, and that we should all be present, be aware and live in the moment with our kids and families...thank God she lived to help us all realize that. i was so touched and affected by seeing her yesteray.

we are all so unique; i love your blog and your humor. i love your stuff and almost road tripped it to st. charles for your sale...we used to live in chicago and i actually taught near st. charles way way back then.

anyway, we're not all "called" to be the room mom type or any particular type of mom--- but to be our true selves and i'm glad i'm finally learning that now that i'm almost 40. what great comments your post brought out.

xxoo
jody

Mary (Mary's Monday Musicology) said...

Thank you for your honesty and your heart. It is very encouraging to me. We all have struggles and challenges but how boring would we be if we were perfect at everything?

Jamie said...

It was a great show yesterday, wasn't it? It's a good reminder to appreciate the small things in our lives. I love that you don't pretend to be something you're not. Not only that, but you like who you are. Good!

Tracey said...

I don't think you'd be nearly as much fun to hang out with if you became a realist...I like the dreamer Kasey (you know, the one from the bronx)!!!

:) T

Flower Patch Farmgirl said...

You took the words right out of my mouth. We can never be reminded enough to appreciate and be aware of the small things that define us and make our lives as joyous as they are.

ps- Do you think you will ever eat plain spoonfuls of sugar with that little spoon? Oooh - what about brown sugar? I totally would.

mommyof3 said...

I just found your blog and I think it is hilarious. I too am the mom that doesn't like to play games or playdough. I use those things to keep my kids busy while i TRY to get stuff done. Its okay. I think we all contribute something to our children's lives regardless of how much we volunteer in class or how many times we sit down to candyland.Important things happen everyday and it truly is the little ones that matter most. Like laying in bed with our kids when we are tucking them in. Or letting them snuggle with us under a blanket in the wee hours of the morning when we are enjoying our quiet cup of coffee and they are supposed to still be sleeping. All of these small things are special. Our children can tell when we are happy as well as when we are not enjoying things. We need to live for each day. To quote John Lennon "Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans". I don't think that those are his exact words but dammit Im close :) I think you have a fabulous outlook on parenting and I can tell from your blog that you fanily is very special to you
Take care

a little bit vintage said...

Such a lovely post, Kasey. It's easy to forget the small things...or the mundane things we do over and over everyday. Thanks for the reminder. :)

Smiles,
Rachel

NicNacManiac said...

We love you just the way you are and I know that your kids are happy and content and that is what matters most. We all have our thing and we do what works for us!!
I did happen to see NieNie on Oprah and I like yourself only began to read her blog about 6 months ago, I did shed a tear and was so inspired by the bravery and courage of everyone involved!! She is a real inspiration, they both are!!
We are all fabulous...that's right...all of us!!!
Enjoy the rest of your day!!
xOxO Nerina :)

Room Service ~ Decorating 101 said...

I was not the super mother either, but when they grow up they don't rememeber... they do remember the walks in the woods, and the way we always laugh whenever all the cousins get together...I love your blog, and I don't usually revist blogs that don't visit mine when I continue to comment, but I can't help it. I love it here...

Ali said...

Hey Kasey,

Just had to say that I could have sworn that I was signed up as a follower months ago! I do have your link as one of the blogs I follow, but I guess that doesn't necessarily make you an "official" follower! Well, guess I'm official now! Love your blog! Take care!

c.stone said...

It's cut and paste time!!! Love it--Christy Donoho

Carmen said...

We all have our own way of being there for our kids. You don't have to be room mom, Brownie leader, etc to be there for your kids. This post says it perfectly. Thank you! (I read a bunch of Nie Nie's old posts today. What an inspiration she is.)

Backyard Candle Co. said...

I totally know what your saying. I want to be better as well. Stephanie is such an inspiration on so many levels. I feel ashamed for all the times I complain cause I HAVE to do something, when she would love to be able to do it with ease. I guess the fact that we want to do better is a good indication that the Lord is working on our hearts.

Honey Bend Vintage said...

Kasey~
I forgot to tape it, so I watched at work, I probably should not admit that. Ever since I watched it I have felt so inspired. I worried I should do more like be a helper to the room mom in g's class. But when waiting for my son in the car line I saw the room mom walk across the street. She spent the morning in the class celebrating the teacher's 40th birthday. At that moment I thought I'm good!!!
Bristol

paige said...

sweet friend.....why do you doubt your supermomness?
who likes not only being the room mom, but actually likes the room mom! just teasin...

what makes motherhood wonderful is there are so many different faces of "THE" supermom... we can't all be everything to all of them at all times. period

as i type this, albeit way too long comment, i see sweet fin's precious face. just how he looks at you kasey.
he obviously thinks he has a supermom
xo

tara said...

I missed the interview!! My mom taped it for me! Love your new little treasure!

Rue said...

You and I are a lot alike on that level. I love my kids more than life itself, but I am not super mom. Anyone that reads your blog knows how much you love your kids. You are a better mom because you worry. It's the mom's that don't worry that need to. Make sense?? :)

xoxo,
rue

Anita said...

Hey Lady. I think you're super MOm...cause you don't have boogers all over your cute clothes and you're happy so they are happy...everyone wins. Except you today. Cause I got no more papers from the bank. Just prescription packets. Did you see those last time?