there is no sugar here today....

Today, for just today, I thought we could put away the tea set, the sugar and have ourselves a "no rules" day. While I was at the gym, I was watchin Oprah......she had a bunch of moms on her show, and also had one of my favorite mom bloggers...Heather Armstrong from Dooce. What I love about Heather's blog, is she is a no holds bar with blogging. Yes, she does have the occasional foul mouth, but she talks about parenting with out sugar coating things like so many other mother bloggers do.

So I thought for today, we could just have some fun......er.. more like vent and i promise not to tell anyone, and you do the same.

*My children only get bathed occasionally, and most of the time they are the ones reminding me.

*I love all three of my children equally, but I do secretly have a favorite.

*I did not breastfeed my babies. Nope. did not.

*the little guy has had 2 cavities. yup. because we forget to brush his teeth.

{i like the look of a bunch of silver capped teeth...don't you?}

*Lola is always telling me my breath stinks.

*I am trying to lose 8 lbs in 8 weeks. I've even given up my nightly glass of wine. I am a much better parent after my glass of wine.

*I make mac n cheese 6 out of the 7 nights a week for the kids.

*I don't believe in sick days at school. you better have a 104 degree fever if you are going to go to the nurse's office and beg to come home.

*yes, i'm the parent that doses up my kids with motrin if they don't feel good and waits for the nurse to call.

*i volunteer in lola's class only cuz her teacher is a friend.
Alright, i feel so much better now that you know my secrets. whew.
I also wanted to get a step closer to the garden party.
has anyone ever had a garden party in the snow? It might be a first.
Have a great day my friends....


Jackie said...

I LOVE this!! It's nice to vent! I'm a very impatient mom and get frustrated easily. I also love all 3 equally (and have a secret favorite) and I'm a WAY better mom after a glass of wine (which I don't have every night, but when my husband's traveling - I do it to keep my sanity!). Thanks for venting and letting us do it too! It's good to air dirty little secrets sometimes!

mimi charmante said...

I saw that episode and loved it~

I am terrible at reminding my boys to brush their teeth.

My nearly three year old still has a pacifier (although we are trying to break the habit) because he melts down without it. Thankfully it is becoming a night thing.

I spend more time cleaning my house and doing projects than sitting on the floor playing with my boys. I hate that.

I nag. I direct. I nag some more.

I too am a better parent some evenings after a glass of wine.

My nearly 3 year old isn't going to the first year of preschool in the autumn because I find it a nuisance to have to drive him there for two hours twice a week. Call me when they extend the time. Two hours isn't enough time to do anything. It is easier to keep him with me.

I have looked through my teenagers' room while tidying it up to make sure there is nothing suspicious going on in their lives...

I am terrible at sharing treats with my kids - I hoard the goodies and hide them when I must.

Scary how this list could go on and on... Great idea Kasey!


Chablis said...

Isn't it nice know that we all have issues? I always feel like blogs are ALL sugar coated. We only want people to see the best of us... that's not necessarily a bad thing. But it's nice to just get real. No one is perfect. Here are a few of my secrets:

* My kids and I eat way to much sugar, I mean sugar is a main ingredient in almost every meal.
* When my daughters start to fight, I tell them they're on their own and go hide. I have no idea how to help settle these things, or how to teach them to settle them.
* I'm so grateful that my sister is here to help me while my husband is gone...but sometimes she annoys the hell out of me.
*I also love all three kids and I also tend to have a favorite, but my favorite changes from time to time.
* I cleaned my house yesterday, but I didn't clean the toilette bowls.

Tracy is ... Loving Pretty Things said...

Kasey! Honestly, we need to visit for our nightly glass of wine and chat - 90% of what I would have put on my list are what you put down...no joke!

I haven't watched Oprah in years, but happened to tune in yesterday. LOVED it.

Here's my sugar-free Tuesday: (some will be echoing yours...!)

*I didn't breastfeed my daughter, and don't feel guilty about it.

*I sometimes don't go places because I'm afraid my daughter will be too disruptive and overbearing to other kids (friends houses, park, etc)

*I HATE the bedtime routine, "mommy, can I have one more drink of water?" "Mommy, i have to go potty" "Can we read one more story..." and I HATE that I HATE it. sigh...

*I joke about wine a lot - because I honest-to-goodness need that one glass at night. My husband can attest to that.

*I love medicine that say 'nighttime'. I use it during the day when my daughter's sick.

Like Mimi said - I could go on, too...I'll just stop right there.

This feels so good - I LOVE knowing I'm not alone out there!

XO, friend!

Anita said...

Crack me up. These are too funny. Mine secret (not really a secret) is that the year after I got divorced, my kids and I ate out EVERY meal because my ex ( a chef) had made me believe i could not cook and I had no confidence...so I searched out those Kids eat free deals and had a schedule..Monday-Pizza Ranch, Tuesday, Perkins, etc. Now, my girls HATE to eat out. me too.

Glad to see you this weekend- thanks for stopping by. You are as cute in person as on your blog...

mishebe said...

Hi, where did u get that Crown tea set? Mishelle ps. I like your true Mommys confessions, my son would love mac n Cheese everyday if he coud. lol.

paperbird said...

Great honest venting- i love it.
It drives me crazy that I still have to remind my 11 year old to brush her teeth. Why can't she just remember that on her own!!!!

Susan said...

I could make a list a mile long but I'll only mention one today and maybe by saying it "out loud" to all of you I will get over it.
I am so mad at my 4 year old daughter right now. On Sunday we celebrated Easter with the inlaws and that side of the family. I bought her a beautiful dress, spent to much on the sweater to match and debated over which color stocking she should wear for weeks. I also battled with her all week long trying to explain why she couldn't put the dress on until Sunday. So Sunday comes and she refuses to wear the thing. I put it on her and damn she looked so cute. She cried and said it itched and would not wear it. We begged, threatened and bribed but nothing worked. Finally we gave in and proceeded with our day but I can't tell you how much I am still mad at her. Probably a little mad at myself also for putting so much emphasis on a stupid dress. So there the dress sits, never to be worn and can't return because I got rid of all the tags etc.
Thank you , I feel better and as soon as I pack the dress away I think I will be able to get over it.

please sir said...

Great post! I don't have kids, but I know my sister will love this (3 crazy boys!). I think many parents have similar vents to be had!

Victoria@WhimsybyVictoria said...

Thanks for the honesty! We all are just trying to have it all togehter, but we must remember "we are just human!" My confessions would be that I am the worst on a set time for dinner...I am a good cook, but my family can eat anywhere between 5:30-8:00...I know! I feel so bad when we eat later! That is something I am constantly striving to do better on...being a meal planner! I too love all my 5 kids equal, but I definetly think I relate to each one different. Only two of my kids were breastfed and the other two were bottle. Long story...the other child is my step-son. I usually am a very organized person, but as of the last several months, I have not had the energy I normally have and it takes everything I have to stay on top of things!...oh, look....my desk is a mess in front of me while I am typing this! I think I will only keep showing you all the pretty things and not my messes! lol. I feel better too...thanks for the therapy!

Hugs to you,

Michelle Muth said...

So good to know that I'm not the only Mommy filling the kids with meds just to catch a break! Don't even mention the teeth brushing.. we have 3 dentists in our immediate family...they would die at my kids habits! What great honesty! Thanks for sharing!!
xoxo Michelle

Jennifer said...

OK....I have to break from the norm...that Oprah show sort of annoyed me. Just a bit. And do some of you really have a favorite child???? I find this really sad. I definitely, as someone else said, relate to my children differently....but I can't imagine having a favorite. Sorry.

In the honor of "truthiness"....I am a year overdue with my youngest daughter's dentist app't. Taking my children to the dentist, gives me great anxiety.

Kasey said...

Yes, Jennifer...thanks for stopping by my blog.
I do love my children equally, but
I really do have a "secret" favorite child.

Kimm at Reinvented said...

Wow, this is so funny, and I gotta admit, makes me feel so much better! I'm terrible about the bathing thing too, and I usually don't trim the fingernails until they are way too long and full of dirt. My kids recognize the smell of spray paint BEFORE the aroma of freshly baked cookies. AND they've started asking me what my stat counter is at EVERY day. Is that bad?

gopg8r said...

What a great post! B/c let me tell you ... from your blog, you seem perfect! :o) It's good for me to remember that every mom struggles to get through the day.

Hmmm ... my secrets -

*my son was such a nightmare baby/toddler that I wished I had never gotten pregnant. (Now how bad do I feel given that he is on the autism spectrum and has sensory issues. Still. HE WAS A FREAKING NIGHTMARE.)

* Sometimes I tell my kids to shut up. (AND I HATE THAT I DO THAT!!!)

* That son that was the nightmare? The best thing that has ever happened to me. He is still difficult at times but I love that kid like nothing else in the world.

* I fear what my daughter will be like as a teenager. She is really headstrong. REALLY.

* My kids are growing up too fast! I want to stop this time. Right now. Yet I am constantly asking them to leave me alone. What is up with that??

* I feel like such a crappy mom b/c my kids aren't in any after-school activities. No dance, ballet, swim lessons, karate. Yes, they are only 4 and 5 but I can't handle additional stuff. And apparently taking them to more activities ... is more stuff.

Sigh ... feel better. Thanks for the post!

Tara said...

Kasey, you are Hilarious, but i think you already knew that! :) I have one baby, and he is enough for me. I fear having another one, because I won't have the time or the patients, as my first is a handful. I work full time and I feel guilty taking him to daycare 5days a week end then I feel even more guilty when I need an additional 20 minutes to myself at night and I can't get him off my legs. I have used the TV to try and keep him occupied and well it doesn't work he is right back crawling all over me, then I get frustrated and grumpy! I love the honestly above, it is so refreshing to know that we are all not perfect, and we loose it sometimes, because we all do.

Laura said...

Thanks so much for the dose of reality and the reminder that I'm not alone!

* My 4-year-old rarely eats dinner. Sometimes it's baby carrots & peppers with a spoonful of hummus, sometimes an apple. I refuse to wage food battles. He'll eat when he's ready.

* I hate that I spend too much time cleaning & not playing with my little ones. I'm working on that.

* I have no patience & tend to yell too quickly. Working on that too.

* I need to learn to let things go & not obsess & worry over every little thing. I don't want to be a bad example to my kids of being high-strung.

* I am absolutely a better mom when I get my nightly glass of wine. Moms need to unwind too.

I just wrote something on an index card & put it on my fridge this morning: "Make every day magical - this is their only childhood"

I love my little ones so much my heart aches. I want to do the best I can & not get caught up in how things "should" be, so this post helps me to see that no one is perfect or has a perfect life. All we can do is love our children & make the best life for them we can.

Have a wonderful day Kasey!

C Maisy said...

Awesome..i've been waiting for this.
Here I go:

*When hubby takes my little man swimming I consider it a bath.
*Bradley only eats 3 types of food and I don't want to fight about it.
*sometimes i get mad before bedtime so i don't have to read.
*i don't like to "play"... never really have.
*sometimes the best part of my day is when he is in school.
*i just go buy new clothes so i don't have to do laundry.
*sometimes i want him to be sick so i don't have to take him to school(he never is sick)
well...the list goes on and on and on.
Thanks for opening up this convo.
You are great!!

(Now I have to deal with the guilt from actually putting this out there)

Laura said...

Oops - one correction: The note I put on my fridge this morning - it was "Make every day special - this is their only childhood". I thought magical was too much pressure!

the wild raspberry said...

I have a little trophy that I call "the oscar award" and when one of them gets dramatic...I present this award to them. They just hate it but I really can't stand whininess and drama. It seems to do the trick.

koralee said...

Ha Ha...this is great!!!! I laughed sooo hard when i read the silver caps on the teeth...my youngest has all her back teeth done!!!!....and yes probably because of lack of brushing on my part!!!
....if they all want to eat cereal for dinner i let them...not too many veggies around my home...we all love diet pepsi...

Leanne said...

I love Heather's blog! I've been a fan of Dooce for years!! I'm not a parent- yet. I have nephews. Several of my friends have kids. Though I am working as a nanny- on average 20-30 hrs/week. My nanny job was supposed to be temporary as I try to find a job in my field of study. And well, this "gig" has lasted longer than I thought... thank you economy. But I am lucky as the two kids are really sweet (3rd grade + 2nd grade) I was fearful that they would be a handful and it would be difficult to parent and discipline someone else's children!! We have established our own routine- with homework, chores, play and arts + crafts. I seem to discipline differently than Mom + Dad- but it seems to work for us. I will admit that this nanny job has REALLY opened up my mind to how I want to parent in the future. I've noticed my strengths and my weaknesses for sure! Whoa. My own neuroses, at times, really shine through... and that's a little scary. I need to work on being a little less OCD. I've noticed that I am more interested in artsy projects and going to the park than say, cleaning. bleh. I should look at the aspect, too. ha! :)

stacy di said...

this is so so funny...and totally makes me feel better as a parent.

* I have two giant piles of laundry that have been sitting on the couch for an entire day. I have no intention of folding them any time soon.

* My kids learned profanity at a VERY early age. I drop the f-bomb way more often than I should.

* I've totally never been on top of the shower/teeth brushing thing...my 12 year old is still bad about brushing.

* I eat a majority of my kids' halloween candy.

* I've snooped in my kids' emails...something I've promised that I'd never do.

oh lord, I could go on...

Leanne said...

Oh, and on the nanny topic. One thing I didn't think would be in my future job description.. "Did you change your underwear? I meant did you change it TODAY?" Seriously. What is with boys and underwear? Sometimes I just get tired of the morning discussion as we're getting ready for school.

Sa-Sea Boutique said...

I watched that Oprah last night and laughed the entire time!!!!
here goes....
*I actually hid 60 EMPTY eggs around my house yesterday just so that I could keep the kids busy while I sewed. HA!
*I don't even bother putting veggies that I know my kids won't touch anymore.
*I recently told my son that Mickey Mouse on his new big boy underwear would cry if he peed on them...and he hasn't peed in his pants since. (probably scared him too bad! AWFUL!)
*I have convinced my kids that my mom bought them an ourfit or two just because I didn't want my husbandd to know I went to Target again.
*I have been thru so many drive thrus lately that my 2 year old son actually ordered himself a juice from starbucks the other day when the lady asked if I would like anything else
*I don't clean the house AT ALL until 10 min before my husband gets home from work, i make him call me daily.
*I am still using Santa as a crutch to get my kids to listen to me.

Yikes...this is scary!!!!!

beth said...

i watched that episode of oprah too. it was great and i don't even have kids...we teachers just know all your secrets before you tell them.

i went to silver bella last year. i was surrounded by fabulously talented women who have beautiful blogs and look like they have everything together. jenni bowlin was teaching a class i took and a woman we telling her how cute jenni and her husband were. jenni told our class, "you know what it hasn't always been perfect. we have our hard times". she went into more detail but her honesty was refreshing. things aren't always as they seem.

nice post.

Michelle@Fromhousetohome said...

Oh boy, I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do this. Seeing things in writing can be scary. Okay *deep breath*.....

- My 3 year old says "crap" and I know exactly where he gets it from, me.

- Sometimes I can't wait for them to go to bed so I can sit and blog or look at decorating magazines.

- I hate to cook. Meals around here regularly consist of hot dogs or hamburger helper. Don't even get me started on "pizza night." It's more like pizza season.

- I have to remind myself not to get upset when they break something or get their new clothes dirty. Being calm does not come naturally for me.

I think that's it for now. Any more and they make come take away my Mother of the Year Award. Oh wait......

littlebyrd said...

I love you! I can't wait to come back and sit down to read the responses when I have more time. My confession? I don't like playing and try to get out of it whenever I can. I feel guilty as hell about it since we aren't providing siblings but that guilt is still not enough to make me want to play. We bribe, occasionally yell, laugh when we shouldn't, sometimes say bad words.

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

Love this...

True confessions:

My daughter repeatedly has to remind me that my brain will turn to mush because I spend too much time on the computer.

She's been late to school on more than one occasion because I was busy blogging and lost track of time.

Am often running late picking her up as I am now...must go. :)

paige said...

well this is certainly the best post i've read in a while!

paige said...

oops...need to add my nonsugar coated issues...i'll be back...dinners on & yes , there is a pot of kraft mac & cheese...NO LIE!

Jen said...

Thank you for this post (and thanks to everyone who added comments) I don't have kids yet, but hope to someday and always wondered how all of these mothers around seem so perfect and worried that I never would be...perhaps they are all hiding 'dirty' little secrets of imperfection too. Whew, that makes me feel better!

Jen from Windy Ridge said...

Dude! I love cheeseburgers more than "good wholesome" food, but I do believe that is clear on the blog.

My boys think it is funny to go weeks without brushing their teeth or bathing. I am a trillion years behind on dental checkups. Judging from the other comments here sounds like that is normal though. I am normal. HA!

My brand new house is a disaster and the upstairs has not even been construction cleaned yet and we have been here a freakin month.

I have donkey poop in my yard.

I quit high school. Twice. And have never regretted it. Though I wouldn't tell my kids that:)
(oh quit it Kasey, I seen you smirking at my grammar hehe)

I have a crooked mouth that I try to hide in blog photos. Girl, you better not be posting pics of it in June!

Baby is always the spoiled favorite in our family. If the kids complain I remind them that they had their turn. I love all of our children equally(i.e. would be equally devastated if I lost any of them), but certainly love them differently. That is the beauty of diverse personalities. I don't think that qualifies as a "dirty secret"

Jill said...

By far my favorite post I have read today - as I sit here watching The Biggest Loser WHILE drinking my SECOND glass of wine when really I should be reading to my children! Thanks for reminding us ALL that while we may not perfect sometimes good enough is OK. You crack me up - I could SO relate.

Jill said...

Oh, and I also have that same sugar bowl from Anthro - LOVE IT!

Reese & Marie said...

I LOVE this post and am so sorry I'm late responding to it. I totally appreciate your candor and honesty... it is so refreshing to not see someone act like they have it together all the time. That is the most annoying thing on earth to me. I too have some dirty little secrets... I'll just share a few so I don't send you running screaming in the other direction.

*I'd much rather blog than play with my kids. Sometimes I've put them in front of the TV for untold amounts of time so I can blog or look online.

*I too have made Neva late to school because of blogging/texting.

*I do not even bother giving my kids veggies when I know it's the kind they won't eat, which is 99 kinds out of 100.

*My kids eat PB&J 9 days out of 10 for lunch.

*I do bathe the kids regularly, but have started skipping a day now and then {for them and me!} to my sister's horror.

*However, the laundry is a different matter. Worst chore on earth IMO. I have actually dug out a semi-clean undershirt out of the dirty clothes for Neva when she had none clean. I will let the laundry pile up till it's spilling out of the closet before I do it. Pathetic I know, and possibly TMI.

*I recently rewashed the same load of clothes THREE times because I left it in the washer too long THREE different times and it started to get that smell. So not green of me. Oh well.

*I leave my kids in the bath waaaaaaaaaaaay too long so I can blog.

I think that's it for now. I'm thoroughly chagrined. Back for more later.

Reese & Marie said...

Oh yeah, I yell way too easy and use "damn" way too much which my 5 year old repeated to her Great Grandmother, no less, {who got a really good chuckle out of it, thank goodness}

Oh and sometimes when I'm really fed up I put the kids to bed at 7:30 and get me a gin and tonic pronto. That seems to help.

Mary said...

Ok, I loved this post...but the comments even more! You guys crack me up! Too funny...you should all get together and write a book...better yet...get yourselves a radio show. Can you imagine how many listeners you would have?? Should I take this moment to be thankful my children have 4 legs and fur? ;o) Thanks for the laughs tonight, girls.

Law Wife said...

Aw, people really have favorite children? I've nannied for a bunch of families and have noticed that people always, always, ALWAYS seem to favor their oldest child. I feel sad now that most of those moms, maybe, really DO favor that child. :(

Jen r. said...

I let my kids out of the closet for fresh air..... some times ;)

♥ miss.michelle said...

...you are hilarious!!!!
Love this post....too funny!

Thanks for sharing!

Brandie said...

These comments are fantastic and make me feel so much better about the fact that I am not the worst mom ever!

I too am bad about reminding the kids to brush their teeth and my one year old, I hardly ever remember to brush hers.

Baths here are also few and far between. I'm not talking weeks or anything but definitely days, lots of days.

I have not spent nearly enough time playing with my kids lately and feel awful about it.

The kids hamsters might very well be dead for all I know. It's been that long since I've checked.

My favorite response to requests is "we'll see". It gets me off the hook immediately.

I could go on and on. Perhaps I will take this idea over to my blog one of these days. Thanks Kasey!

Susie from Bienvenue said...

Hey girl! Dirt...I have plenty! Just come over and see my house today. I went to bed and didnt do my dishes or take out the trash! Can you just smell the love. Nothing like noodles glued to your stove. Youngest would not eat what I was cooking so she ate Macncheese..again! I stayed in my pj's all day until I took a bath. My daughter came home from school and thought I was sick. Nope...just on blogger ALL DAY! I could go on and on but I need to keep a few friends Ha! Love ya girl!

Ferreira; Party of Four said...

It seems silly perhaps, to say thank you for your blog. But my husband is on a week long trip for work, yet again... And it seems like every other time he leaves, the poo just hits the fan. Sick kids, crabby kids, kids who won't sleep or eat, the microwave breaking, the coffee maker breaking (NO!!!!), and me... feeling totally stressed out and inadequate as a mother. Reading this blog yesterday, and all of the totally honest and hilarious comments to follow, was like a Godsend. I'm not the only one with the alter-ego "Bad Mommy?"
Thank you!

Jamie said...

This is great! Thanks for sharing. I feel a little bit more normal now! :) I love how you edited the picture of your kids with the easter baskets.

Jessica K. said...

I am with you on EVERY single one of your "mommy guilts"!! Love it. I am sooo glad I watched that Oprah show too. Dooce is my hero (I talk like a trucker sometimes too) and it is so nice to be able to let go some of our self-imposed rules on how we should mother our children. TFS!

Jessica said...

I saw the show and loved it.
I loved your confessions, too.
My only confessions will be these...
I had my first at the age of 17 in 1976.
Crazy times those 70's.
'Nough said about that.
Had my #2 in the 80's and #3 in the 90's.
It was all trial and error.
Thinking I was getting better at it each time. Ha!
My 70's child has got the best head on her shoulders of any one I know. Go figure!
P.S. I love all my kids and they love me and we are all fine.
Not perfect...but fine, and thats what really matters.

traci said...

absolutely love this post kasey!! i love your honesty and humor. everyone has their list and usually the people who try to portray perfection have the longer list. i could so relate to many of yours. my son just had 7 cavities. they are attributing it to the invisalign but who knows. i guess i should still hold him down and brush his teeth for him even though he's way bigger than me. have a great evening.

Amy said...

You totally crack me up!!! Thanks for your brutal honesty - reminds us we don't have to be Supermom. Hope your day is a good one!

christy said...

These are great! I noticed a couple of other bloggers are doing this too. Love it! I have to admit that I am guilty of a few of these too.

By the grace of good genes (dad's, not mine) my son has no cavities, but it's not b/c of his diligent brushing, I can tell you that!

La Table De Nana said...

Happy Easter!

B said...

Hey! I just bought that exact same teapot and matching cookie jar; didn't see a milk jug or sugar bowl though :o( Aren't they cute? By the way of those 10 'admissions' I can say "me too" to at least 7 and add quite a few of my very own!

B said...

Just read my last post; so lame need to come clean... my son informed me as I put him to bed this evening that he had worn his underpants for 3 days and 2 nights! Until last year (when they could work it out themselves) I would threatened my kids that if they didn't behave I wouldn't tell them when their birthday is and they'd miss it! Is that naughty!?

Anonymous said...

Oh I love this post. I'd like to confess that

- I leave my husband's dog that I never wanted to get in the first place in it's crate most of the day and lie about taking it on walks, etc. Sorry, just NOT A DOG PERSON.
- My daughter stays in the bathtub for a REALLY long time. She hates to get her hair washed, so when she wants out I'll say, "Okay so you are ready for me to wash your hair?" And she'll say no and keep playing. I wash her hair very rarely because I hate to see her cry during her happy bath time.
- I spoil my daughter very badly. I serve her snacks in bed on a tray, buy her "prizes" almost everywhere, let her ride the 25 cent rides all the time, etc. I don't care, if I want to spoil her, she's my daughter and I will.
- I let my daughter go to sleep watching Noggin EVERY single night in my bed. She goes to sleep around 8 o'clock every night. It's very regular. Sure it's a bad habit, but we have never ever had bedtime problems.