5.28.2009

life defining moments...

I was told there are 3-5 life defining moments in one's life......like the birth of a child......a marriage.....or something like this.


I knew this day would come....i had been waiting for it. I knew joining facebook had the possibility of it, it was just a matter of when.



where.



how.



I had a great group of friends back in elementary school, as a matter of fact....it was the four of us and we did everything together. we even started our own version of the babysitters club.Four friends.



My elementary school went thru 6th grade with 7th and 8th being middle school.



Life was lovely.



Then middle school started.


There really should be no middle school.


I don't know anyone that loved middle school.



It was fun....for the first couple of months anyways.


The four of us.....



my good friends....the other 3 girlfriends that i loved.......


and one day......



dumped me.



i use that term nicely.



dumped.



i was humiliated.



i had to start my life completely over and to tell you the truth, it's probably the reason i hated school so much.



Oh, i made new friends and survived but the fact is and was....



i was dumped by my 3 best buds.


my besties...


this was a life defining moment.



to this day i'm still very touchy about friendships...i don't get very connected or deep.



oh, i have plenty of friends, but i only have a handful that thru the years have i stayed connected with....a handful.



which brings me to today .....



one of those girls contacted me......



"hey kasey.....remember me....jenny from elementary school......remember?"......



oh yeah....jenny.....i remember you.......you dumped me..right?......that jenny..is that you?



"lol....ha....i guess that's a harsh word....but ......oh...yeah...your right.....maybe we call it water under the



bridge and start over".



start over?



seriously?


flash back to life defining moment......



So....this is where you my lovely friends can help me.......maybe you've been there.....



Do i say "heck with it", let's be best buds.....i mean really....i'm not 13 anymore...i'm 34 and married with children.....with awesome blog readers.......and.....



or



let it be.....not accept her invite to be friends......
oh....the trials and tribulations.......



xo


..on a lighter note......my home was featured on this awesome blog yesterday.

89 comments:

Wendy @ The Shabby Nest said...

Hey Lady! Congrats on your house feature. LOVE your home, but you already knew that.

As for what you should do....hmmmm...not sure. Maybe she really wants to make it up to you...after all, she was 13 too.

(middle school...sigh.)

Susan said...

o.k.
first...love the home tour!
second...I say "NO".
don't accept.
susan

beth said...

i am a facebook whore...i am friends with people i wasn't even friends with in high school. careful of facebook, it's addicting.

can't wait to see what you decide. although, if everyone judged me on decisions i made in junior high, i would be scared. middle school is rough.

Brenna LaPray said...

I'm guessing that "Jenny" is wanting to be friends again due to you becoming sooo famous!! She MUST have heard about your magazine article coming out next month or the million readers you have to your blog LOL!!!
I think you should accept the invitaion. You were young. Let her see how happy and wonderful your life is. BTW, I better be one finger on that HANDFUL of friends list!!!
XOXO

Jersey Girl said...

I accepted my old bestie and we chatted for a while I may even get our boys together for a play date when I go home to visit (she has never left our home town- sad). I never accepted the friendship request for the girl she dumped me for. I guess I still harbor some resentment- 20 years later.

Backyard Candle Co. said...

I say accept. Let her see how AWESOME your life is!

Leah C said...

That's a tough one...it's hard to let go of that "middle school hurt". Do what makes your heart happy:)

Jen r. said...

I say give it a go.... but carefully.....

Anonymous said...

Fool me once shame one me, fool me twice shame on you - words to live by.

Missy K said...

I guess what I'm thinking is that middle school does not bring out the best in anyone.

Let it go, give yourself the chance to see how she has grown, and how you have. Not to rub your life in to her in some way, but because, really, what do you have to lose?

I was never the "dumper" in a friendship, but I have had my less than stellar moments, and I hope I am not defined forever by them.

Sharri said...

Oops - had a typo above - Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you!

Mandy said...

Well, let me just say that when I was about 13, I was the one that did the dumping of a friend for a really awful reason, and because of the bad advice of a big sister. We are friends now on myspace, and I still feel awful for what I did to her all those years ago. I would accept her friend request and chalk it up to just how immature 13 year olds can be.

flax and spindle said...

Accept! People change (lets hope from when they were 13)

Congrats on your feature!!

xx
Darlene

Lissa said...

I'm sure you know what I'm going to say... Can I please encourage you and share with you that 2 of the people that bless me the most in my life are 2 people that I've had to forgive the most. I remember when a friend told me that if I could forgive this one girl that we would probably end up being very good friends and I remember thinking, "whatever!" Well.. forgive her I did and she IS a very good friend to me! One I've blogged about and shared photos of us together. Now I'm learning a whole new level of forgiveness... But I promise you that God's blessings are in forgiveness and you may find that you just LOVE this girl. You're not the same person and I'll just bet that neither is she!

flax and spindle said...

oh, PS I was dumped (and I mean royally, by my best friend) same age...
feeling your pain

xx
Darlene

Laura said...

OOo . . . I <3 your house.

Politics and Pearls said...

Accept her friend request- leave it at that. No need to be BFF's :o)

koralee said...

You don't have to be "best friends" again... see what happens...you may not even have anything in common and that will be the end of that..
Again Beautiful Beautiful Home..I love the adorable outside view..you always inspire!

Evy said...

I'd say give her a chance, maybe she's changed (besides, she was 13 - 13-year-olds are so unpredictable!). Just be careful, I mean you have the handful of real friends who have proven themselves.

Congratulations on being featured! Your home is amazing, to say the least!

Lou Cinda said...

I know it was middle school, but....I think that is when most of our pain "stemmed". From issues such as this! I don't think I would snub her and I would accept the friend request.

Maybe she has had guilt about it for all of these years, you never know! Or it may be a good opportunity at some point, for you to point out how her actions hurt you so deeply. Feel it out...go slow! I read your blog faithfully, and am firmly convinced that losing you as a friend was HER loss!

I LOVE your house and congrats on the feature!!!

Lou Cinda :)

Kimberly said...

Yeesh, middle school was HELL (sorry to write a 4-letter word on your blog in all caps...), absolute hell and I am SO glad I had a family who loved me to help me make it through.

If you have any interest in seeing what she is like now, give her a chance. Honestly a lot of people friend other people on Facebook and then never communicate at all, so maybe that is what will happen.

If she turns out to be shallow and not someone you want in your life then cut her loose. You both were in middle school and I don't think middle school girls realize that their meanness has lasting impact.

In any case, as you stated you are happy where you are and you don't have to worry about her approval anymore.

Did you really say, "Are you the jenny who dumped me?" That is HILARIOUS! :D

Jackie said...

Beautiful Home!!! Love it! Don't know what to say about the other. It's happened to me too...like you, I have lots of friends, but not a lot of really close ones. Having 2 kids in middle school, I know how confusing a time it is - they do and say things they don't really mean - my daughter has dealt some with mean girls, though it's better now. Maybe give it a shot, but if it doesn't feel right, don't do it...

Laretha said...

Something very similar recently happened to me. I wasn't besties with this girl, but was contacted via facebook and she wanted to reconnect. She lives 45 minutes away and was horrible to me in high school. Horrible. I actually dated her brother for a while.

She wanted to meet for coffee. She has 2 children, works part time and doesn't allow her children to do sports or any activities outside of church.

I have 4 children, work a full time executive job, husband and I run a very busy lawn care business plus her works part time nights for insurance, kids are involved in one sport each and 2 of them play an instrument. My 15 year old is working 2 jobs this summer (guess whose providing transportation), etc. etc. You get the idea.

If I weren't so busy, I would invite her and her family over for lunch or something. I might see where it would go and see if she could be trusted.

Women are incredible - I trust my life and my kids lives with 3 of my closest friends. No one will ever replace them. Other women can be caddy, bitchy and mean. Regardless of how old or young they are.

I say, if you have the time and energy to put into it you should reconnect and see if its something worthy of your time and your heart. Relationships are hard work - all relationships. I say extend an open hand but guard your heart.

Way more info than you needed!!!
Good luck!

Brandie said...

Oh, sweetie, I can totally relate. I am torn as to what you should do. I agree with most on giving 2nd chances but it is definitely hard to do. You are such a kind person, in the end you will do what is best for you.

I'm off to look at your home feature. Congrats!

Rachel said...

I have nightmares from middle school and I am so scared that someday my daughter will have to experience the same thing....although I must say, I am a facebook junkie and I recently reconnected with one of my so called friends from middle school (I was not friends with her in high school because I couldn't take any more of the nonsense) but anyways, I had lunch with her after not talking to her in over 14years and it was actually very delightful. She was so nice and I guess we both just put all of that crap behind us....so whatever you decide....good luck!!!
By the way, your home looked absolutely fabulous on the home blog tour!

mrs boo radley said...

I don't know the answer to that, my dear...tough call.

Congrats--your home is AWESOME.

And please, yes, have a quiz on your blog just like mine! I'd be honored.

xxoo

Vana said...

i would say go with what your hearts tells you. None of us knew you than or your friend...but i know you now and you are a gem...If you didn't accept her it's not the end of the world!
That feature was great. Love your home girlie! They approached me a while back to do a video about my work space and a tour of my home...i wish i had the time and the energy:) Love the blog.

mandiegirl said...

To be blunt, I say "screw 'em!" :)

Lindsay said...

If she sent you an I'm sorry message maybe... but her 'haha, let's be friends now' seems fake.

I've been there too and maybe I just hold a grudge but... I think you're better off without them.

Goodluck and congrats on your house being featured!!!!

Julie said...

Can I move in? :)

I don't think there's any harm in being friends on facebook. I doesn't mean you have to be besties again, and maybe you'll find you like who she is now or maybe you won't but it doesn't hurt to give it a try IF you want to.

xo

Janelle said...

I'm just sure that I am one of those girls Lissa is talking about. She is my neighbor and we also go to the same church. And I've gotta tell ya, it's better to forgive than not to. That's what the cross represents...The Lord LONGS for realtionships to be reconciled. Through this, healing of the heart comes. We have a great testimony of God's grace, love, and forgiveness that GLORIFIES His name and I wouldn't trade it for the world. The devil did not win this one and I LOVE that. If only you knew how intense it was before between the two of us, you'd know that God did the impossible! He rocks!

Do what would put a smile on His face...make Him proud.

Nancy said...

Kasey
It has been my experience with Facebook that you say yes and then never hear from them again. Although if you say yes, you give them the privilege of seeing your photos and knowing what is going on in your life. But you also get the privilege of seeing their photos and what is going on in their life. I appreciate your honesty in saying "the one who dumped me". She clearly knows where she stands. I will be curious to see what you decide!

Charlotte said...

i had the same sort of incident happen on Facebook..but it was my high school sweetheart...we dated for over 2 yrs. then he cheated on me with some random skank....then they would make a point to makeout in front of me in between classes...it broke my heart a hundred times....

i declined his friend request 4 times before i accepted it...the skank still asks every so often...i keep declining her request. i wasn't her friend then, not going to be now...what is about Facebook that makes people want to reconnect with every single person they ever met!!??

the only reason i finally accepted the old boyfriend's request is that i thought maybe it made it seem like i was still hurt over all that...i didn't want to him think that...i am not still hurt, but i still think he's a total ass! lol

he left some generic comment on my wall about how beautiful my family is, blah, blah, blah...whatever...

don't expect to mend the fence with the girl if you accept her request...chances are she will never even address what happened between the 2 or you. she's just looking to up her numbers on her friend list.

JMHO...i might be wrong...

Elise said...

Facebook brings all the "friends" around doesn't it?? I do like what Lissa said and her friend, though. Go for it!!
Elise

Tara said...

I have always said through life you will have a handful of friends that stick with you, friends that you tell everything too, that call out of the blue when you are sitting on your couch crying cause they had a feeling something was wrong. The reason I am not on facebook is because of your life defining moment, I had a lot of so called friends in high school and middle school to whom I don't speak to anymore (for several reasons), I haven't in many many years, so do I still call these people friends? No, they don't know me at all...they weren't there when I was happy, hurting, confused, depressed...so I say if you want to accept her as a friend, great, but I wouldn't say it is time to be besties, besties take commitment, honesty, they want to know you, in and out...wow, that got me thinking, I am going to shut up now...but I say be careful...freinds come and go, the true ones stick around and don't DUMP you.

***LIZ*** said...

When I read your post it was like I was reading a page out of my own journal. I too had the exact same experience in junior high. Dumped by my best friends, I was so hurt I even ate lunch in the nurses office for a week just so I wouldn't have to see them. I think you should accept, when you harbor negative feelings they have power over you. Accept the friendship again and give it a chance to create positive memories again, like you said, you were best friends before. Plus, haven't you ever made a mistake? Wouldn't you like it if someone you had hurt gave you a second chance?

Lara said...

Oh, Kasey - I've stood in your shoes, exactly. Facebook is great, but it can also open the door to a painful past one would rather forget. I've accepted the friend invites from those girlfriends who "dumped" me in school. If nothing else - and this may be shallow, but so be it - it helps me remember why I moved on. Why I didn't want to be friends with them anymore. The great thing is that you don't have to become best buds again. Read their status, look at pics from time to time, even comment if you want to. But enjoy these "friends" from a distance. Good luck whatever you decide!

Simply Me Art said...

OK, this is coming from a Mom of a Jr. High almost High School girl right now. There mean, nasty, caddy and very self centered at this age. I think it is part of the territory of become a adult, spreading their wings and seeing what they can get away with. Im sure at the time it was devastating but you are all adults now and Im sure looking back she regrets what they did. There is no harm in being friends on facebook anyway. Just my opinion.. Congrats on the house feature.. sorry this is a so long.. I tend to go on and on and on... Jamie

LuLu said...

I had 4 besties we were a group of 5 and they so dumped too but going into college {so much older} and it hurt,... and one day I got an email from one of them saying how sorry she was, how immature she was back then blah blah blah and I asked my hubby what I should do write back or delete... and I wrote back! and now we are not besties but we are friends who share pictures of our kids and see how far we have both come and are truly happy for each other. They all still live near each other in California and one day I would love to surprise them with a visit to say I have a great life and i would love to meet the children and husbands of the friends I had sleepovers with. thats just me!
LuLu

Sa-Sea Boutique said...

I have had a few people that "dumped" me in middle and high school contact me and I usually just TRY to hear them out. It is also fun to see what they are up to.....and in my experience they are still in our hometown, doing the same old thing. So in an awful way....i feel better about it!

Sarah said...

I would not accept her as a friend. Not to hold a grudge or anything else, but honestly what do you lack that she can add to your life at this point? I have gotten back into contact with some girls from high school, I saw some of the elementary and middle school people and my stomach churned, I took it as a sign and let it lie. My life is something I have created with God's help now and I don't need to stir up and recycle old relationships to add to it now. Does that sound harsh?

Lisa said...

I love your blog and your taste...fabulous! I recently moved to Colorado and have taste very similar to yours. I am having such a hard time finding things for my home out here! Any suggestions on great places to shop for home, clothes, etc.? I am trying to enjoy living here but it's hard!

DeWitts said...

I adore your house. Its all lovely! I love your blog also. I just started following it and i hope thats okay. Good luck with your dumpy friend. I don't know if i could reconnect with her, i'm one that usually holds a grudge forever. I know not a good thing but i'm working on it. Anyways good luck!

vicki archer said...

Be kind and be careful...xv (how funny, my comment moderation word is ...adding...meant to be, see)

Laura said...

I was a mean girl.
There were three of us best friends...and ONE was always left out
one week one girl...
the next another...
the next, me.
We were MEAN.
We were also YOUNG.
Am I that way now?
NO!
DO I feel badly?
Yes.
And I too recently just got in touch with one of them.
And we are adults.
Mothers.
We are changed.

I am big on forgiveness. I think hatred, and resentment are an awful way to live.
I say let her in on Facebook.
And that is that.
Does Facebook mean she is your new best friend?
Do you let her in?
Do you shop at ANthro with her and drink lattes?

Probably not.
This is not an invite to go to the park or swing on swings or play jax...whatever you girls did when you were 13.
This is Facebook.
So, if you are not sure what to do, go for it.
If you are 100 % GET LOST, well, then you have made your decision already and don't need us.

But if there is question...I say...
Make a new life defining moment.
Reconcile.
Move on.
You will be all the better for it.

Laura said...

oh...and if she hurts you again...I'll kick her ass. In really cute shoes, I will kick her!

paige said...

oh kasey--you are just too fun. i'm so glad for you and your home feature!! you're just everywhere!

on the friends thing...i guess i'd say sure, why not? bitterness never looks good on anyone, so go ahead accept the friend invite and move on. you are totally a happy joyful person living your dreams and you should be proud of that. like one of your other readers said, its not like you need to be all besties and arranging flying out for a girls "beaches" trip or anything.
hugs sweetie!

bagfashionista said...

it would be interesting to figure out why it happened? i've had some pretty bad experiences with people whom i thought were my life - friends will just be friends...i've come to put the past away, and we are now talking again, but i doubt i'd ever put that much vested interest into our relationships ever again. Family will always be number 1
what i'm trying to say is, "life is short...so what waste it on less than warm and comfy feelings?"

Anonymous said...

Lissa and Politics and Pearls: Great advice...now that is taking the high road (that you can always get off of if it turns out bad :))

Anonymous said...

SAY YES! I am sure you have hurt a friend or two as well at some point in your life and regret it now. People make mistakes- and especially stupid ones in middle school. One can never have too many friends :)

paula said...

oh, junior high...I feel you.

paige said...

oh darn...i realized that didn't sound exactly like it meant for it to...
when i mentioned the bitterness thing , what i meant to add was--just act like it didn't bother you and move on into the 'fb friends world'
the dumping thing~~sadly, friends still do that too each other--even to those of us oldies in our 40's--much harder to fix those misunderstandings that occur in our 'mature stage' :)
xo

littlebyrd said...

It's a tough one. I have had this happen as an adult (!) and that person and I became friends again only to have it happen again so that part of me says "No don't do it!!!" but another girl that treated me so horribly on my wedding day and I connected after several years of not speaking and I can say I am so happy she and I are friends. Are we BFF? No. But we are friends and see each other a few times a year. Go with your gut.

J.J. said...

Lot's of great advice given already...but there is also nothing wrong with just sitting on it and doing nothing. It may come to you in a day a week or a year. I had a similar situation and I just sat on it and let it be until I knew. After about 3 weeks..I knew I just needed to deny her friend request. This is my life and I have control over who I let in it. I am sure that she is a nice person now, but it is OK that she is not in mine now. It is OK to not be friends with everyone.

So do what you feel is right for you...not what you think is the "thing to do"...if in doubt...just do nothing.

hugs

truly blessed said...

forgiving her is one thing. go ahead and forgive; let it go. befriending her is another thing. you can be sweet, cause that's who you are. but you don't have to be best buds again. take it slow. friendships take time and trust.

Just be happy! said...

maybe she regrets what she did in the past...
but I can't tell you to accept or not her friendship again... I don't even know what I would do!
take care.
:o)

Chez Zizi said...

I know it is hard to forgive someone who hurt you and I was in a similar situation with friends from Middle/high school. To this day I don't go out of my way to see them but I have friended them on facebook. What does it do to me? Nothing. They see my happy life and all the things I did without them. Friending them on Facebook is not a commitment to be lifelong friends. See what happens, you can always delete her as you friend if you want.
You are a fabulous person without her friendship.

Allegra said...

Hi friend. I am here! I have been sick since we got home with a kidney infection so please don't feel ignored. Life has been ignored this week!
I write to you today to tell you I'VE BEEN THERE!!! I was dumped so many times by friends and man, those scars are still so raw. Crazy, right?
I still haven't quite figure out how to truly forgive if truly forgiving means letting go. It seems to me that facebook friends can bring about bad memories and ressurrect valid injuries. I try my best, personally, not to absorb those online friendships and to just accept the ones that bring happiness.
You'll figure out what's right for you!

The Letterman's said...

I had a similar experience, those feelings run soooo deep. Facebook to me is quite the joke really just a chance for many to see how many friends they can get! I think it allows people to reconnect but generally leads to shallow "ships" does that sound harsh? After the first few hey what ya been up to you're back to forgetting the other exists, except when you worry that your own poor daughter might have a similar elementary experience.

C Maisy said...

I say be who you are. If you are the kind of person who wants to open yourself up to this then do it. If you feel better not accepting the friendship then don't. It didn't sound like she really understood the impact she had on you. She was only 13. However, she is a grown woman now and should really get it. It's up to you girl!!!
You have become such a wonderful person(i'm sure you were a wonderful girl too...just didn't know ya then)you have nothing to hide. Hold your head up high and be proud!!!!!

Bay said...

No reason to go the besties route again but no reason to not see if you are compatible. I'm sure you both have grown up (just a little) and you never know....

Congrats on being featured! It was a great little peak into your home. I am AGAIN jealous of your closet!

Bay said...

P.S. Thanks for your comment on my blog. Means a lot when you really admire someone to have them read your blog!

AshleyR said...

I say accept her request. Everyone makes mistakes and needs forgiveness. Plus who said you have to be BFF's. You never know what may come of it. You, however, can rest easy knowing you were the bigger person. You have such a big heart girl, what's making room for one more ;)

Jen said...

Kasey, I've been there. Not with Facebook, but in person. When your suddenly forced back in to the life of someone who is not in your life now for a reason. I say don't do it. Sure, she's probably nice now, and no, you're not 13 anymore, but still, don't do it. Just leave it water under the bridge and forget about her. (Your situation is why I haven't joined Facebook or MySpace or Twitter). Besides, you don't need her!

tracey said...

Boy that's a tough one. The harsh side of me says no don't accept, she doesn't even seem to feel bad about what she did (and I do think 13 is old enough to be held accountable, at least to some extent, on how we treat others and the consequences of our actions), but alas I have learned that life is about forgiveness, without it none of us would get very far...she should be so lucky to have an amazing friend like you!
T

Andrea Villarreal said...

I love the house of course!! There were some pictures I hadn't seen yet. Lovely!
As for the friend and facebook thing. I personally would pass. Been there done that and yes people change (sometimes) but I have found that most of the awful (two faced)girls I knew in high school are still pretty awful. One of them was actually in my wedding and we saw each other for the first time in like 10 years not to long ago at our kids orthodontist and I asked her if her and another friend of ours (they still see each other/also in my wedding) would like to get together and catch up and she literally looked at me like I just asked if she would carry Frank and I's next child!! It was like NO! So I said OOOOOkay. Someone has some issues still and it's not me. And we really lost contact because I moved to New York not some big blow out. Although I did see her right after I had Tyler and she acted a little strange then. It was like she just wanted all the information to gossip about me. No one ever thought Frank and I would last. When I didn't have the gossip worthy stories to tell I guess she got bored with me. Some relationships are just not meant to last. I was so happy when high school was over. I am not about to go back. Good luck;)

Cathy said...

Forgiveness is an amazing thing...for your soul, not hers.

We have all let others down.

susannah in iowa said...

love the house tour. I have been reading your blog and checking out your boutique for quite awhile. I had to finally set up a blog so I could comment on all the neat things you do with your pictures, house and Lola's Boutique.
Boy oh boy the friend thing is tough.

what hurts us in our formative years stays with us forever.
I guess I am suspicious of why now out of the blue does this person want back in your life??

You are successful, have a great blog and a wonderful business.

Farmgirl Paints said...

Loved your house. I wanted to just jump in and stay awhile. Beautiful...really!!

I would be nice to the friend and just see where it goes. I believe you can never have too many friends, but really good ones don't come by often enough. Junior high was a long time ago:) Thank God!!!

Marci @ All Things Wonderful said...

Congrats on the home feature. On the Facebook topic, I was also recently contacted on Facebook by someone who hurt me in the past...I thought it for a few days and then finally accepted the FB friend request. It has actually been a blessing. We have been able to move past our issues. GO on...Accept her!

Erin said...

I can relate too...i was dumped by my bestie in middle school. i made new friends but it still was hurtful. I suggest you proceed with caution. love your home and your style Kasey! Erin

trishiekoh said...

I think we all have childhood experiences that scar us for life. I depend how you react to his "friend" is really how you feel about her now. are you still angry? curious? neutral? figure that out first and work from there.

Federica said...

Hi Kasey,
congratulations! Your home is absolutely one of the most beautiful I ever seen! I really love your style!

Have a wonderful weekend my friend!
Federica

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

Ack...Junior HIgh. Boy can I relate. Girls can be soooo mean. I dread having to watch my daughter go through that phase of life.

Follow your heart. Do what feels right for you. I'm certainly not the person I was when I was 13. It's Facebook...you don't have to hang out together. In the least, she'll see how fabulous you are my dear. xoxo

Zita - Mlle Magpie said...

Loved your home tour, Kasey. I personally stay away from Facebook - my blogs take up enough of my time :)

traci said...

accept her then dump her!!! was that mean of me?

Miss Charity said...

Middle school is terrible...almost evil...I say give her another chance. I did things that I'm not proud of when I was 13, but I've grown up...lots...good luck with whatever your decide :)

paperhill said...

your house is so warm and charming! i love it!

as for the old friend issue, i've had my own (it was high school). at this point you have a great life, water under the bridge and not worth it to hold onto it. with that said, you don't have to be her best friend either. good luck, xo

Kasey said...

I say accept her request. You never know what nice thing may come of this.

goddessof4 said...

Great photos of your house!!!! Yeah,I'm on the fence about joining facebook because of all the people that crawl out of the wood work!!! LOL I am kind of at the point where the past is the past and I want to keep grammar school /high school friends there!!!! Sara

Alicia said...

Its totally up to you & since its based on your feelings, there is no wrong answer.
Facebook is strange. I was the weird girl in high school because I lived overseas & then we moved to a small town that was a bit behind the times & people made fun of me for my weird clothes, etc.
Zoom 25 years later.....love myself but now lots of those same people coming out of the woodwork. Some I say yes, some no BUT and this is a big BUT... there are 2 ways to use Facebook. I use it to keep in contact with the people I care about whom I can't speak to every week.I get a blurb, a photo & a laugh. I like it this way.
Some people just friend every single person they ever met & meet.
Deep inside I think you already know. Besides aren't you a bit curious how their life turned out??? And you can always tell her to go away or block if she's still just as immature because children can be cruel but not everyone grows out of it.
Sorry that was so long.
Glad I found you & good luck!!!

Jen said...

It's what feels right to you. I try to forgive and forget, but there are a few grudges that I hold and will continue to hold- because some things cannot be made up.

If she wants to be a real friend, then maybe it's fair to let her try. Sincerity goes a long way. If she's just popping in to say hi, just because, then perhaps she should keep on going about her business.

I think the important thing is to end each day feeling like you came out on top :) Sometimes we achieve that by taking the higher road, and sometimes by standing our ground.

Rue said...

Good morning Kasey :)

First off the feature on your house was wonderful! I covet your sense of style.

Second... 82 comments here? Honey, don't even start with me LOL

Thirdly, I had a horrible time in school because of girls like that. My best friend dumped me for the popular crowd and hung out with me secretly. I was such a dork, I put up with it. Anyway, yes you were young, but I think people no matter how old are the same basic person underneath. If she treated you badly then, she might do it even now. It's really up to you. Me? I don't talk to anyone from my past life and it's the exact reason I don't join facebook. It brings up the past and I'm not fond of mine.

xoxo,
rue

Christine--RHP said...

I didn't read what everyone else said, but this is what I say: do whatever you'd advise one of your kids to do. I find that when I look at a situation as if I were teaching my kid how to do the right thing while remaining true to himself, sometimes that is the best advice I can give to myself too.

Colleen Hickey said...

OMG.
I thought I was the only one.
I just can't let it go.
I don't dwell on it of course.
But it hurt.
Badly.
I can't do it.
I know that I can't do it.
And I don't want to.
I see thier names on facebook.
They are friends with my friends.
When I see thier names I am annoyed.
I don't want to be annoyed any time I open my facebook.
Good luck!

La Table De Nana said...

I say your home looks great on your beautiful blog and on the one I just peeked at:)


:) Anxious to hear what you do..Good luck~! Best~ Monique

Georgia B. said...

your home is truly beautiful.

your blog is truly wonderful!

Nancy said...

listen to your heart. really listen. it will tell you what to do.

Life with Kaishon said...

I had this happen from a friend in college. It broke my heart. It took me a couple of weeks to accept her friend request. She just hurt me so much.